


I Wanna Be Your Left Hand Man

by Toothlesshoodie



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, It's all about Mike's pov baby, Light Angst, M/M, Mike centered!, Tumblr request, background reddie, based on riptide by vance joy, happy ending!, it's what he deserved, loving Mike Hanlon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-04 03:55:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16339352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toothlesshoodie/pseuds/Toothlesshoodie
Summary: anonymous  asked:Riptide by vance joy stanlonbrough and friends to lovers?Here it is babes!





	I Wanna Be Your Left Hand Man

Derry is a small town, everyone who lives there knows it. News travels fast, everyone knows everyone’s business and there’s nothing anyone can do to avoid it. Mike assumes that’s why everyone knows who he is, where he lives, and his lack of common education that every other boy gets. Everyone knows who he is. It’s scary.

What’s scarier than everyone knowing everything is their complete ignorance towards it all. Mike watches missing signs get replaced by another missing sign every week. Kids being snatched up without a trace only to be forgotten when the next one is gone. He particularly remembers a boy named Georgie, Georgie Denbrough. He was one of the first missing, he had the most people looking for him because of it.

Though, that’s not why Georgie sticks in his mind, well, it’s not the only reason. Months after Georgie was forgotten and replaced by a new kid, Mike saw his brother. His brother, Bill Denbrough, was holding an old missing poster with his brother’s face on it. He had been giving them out when the news was still fresh and terrifying, but now he holds it in his hands and stares at it longingly as he walks. Behind him are three other boys. One of them has neat brown hair and a fanny pack, he’s bickering with a taller boy who has wild black curls and huge glasses. The other boy is staring down at a book in his hands, he kind of looks like a combination of the two boys, he has wild blonde curls but a clean look to him, ironed clothes and a belt to hold his khaki shorts up.

They don’t stay in Mike’s line of sight for long, but he does think the blonde haired one spared a glance in his direction.

Mike lays in bed thinking about Bill and the blonde boy. His light is on and brightening up the whole room, it’s midnight. He’s scared of the dark now, with another kid missing he doesn’t think he can turn the light off even if he tried. While he’s laying there, he thinks about how he wanted to actually talk to those boys. Considering they’re running around with their friend who still thinks his long-lost brother is still alive, they probably wouldn’t judge him. They didn’t seem like the rest of the town, Bill doesn’t let things go easily, and the blonde boy didn’t seem bothered by that fact. He considers talking to them the next time he sees them, but he knows he’s too scared to start conversations.

He drops the thought and goes to sleep.

…

Mike stares at his wall recalling that night. It’s been five years since then, Georgie was found but he still thinks about Bill Denbrough and the blonde boy. Except, the blonde boy isn’t the blonde boy now, he’s Stan Uris and he has Mike’s heart even if he doesn’t know it. A shudder runs through Mike’s body, Stan isn’t the only boy either. Bill had Mike wrapped around his finger, he doesn’t know because he doesn’t abuse that privilege.

A lot had happened in those five years, The losers had changed a lot. Bev moved away, and gradually Bill stopped feeling anything for her. Mike had started attending a regular high school with the rest of the losers, his grandpa sent him to do so because he couldn’t continue to teach him on his own. Eddie had come out as gay to the losers and a few weeks later he started dating Richie.

Currently, Mike has come to the conclusion that he’s fallen in love with two boys. That conclusion has brought him to tears on occasion. He doesn’t usually sleep with his light on anymore, but when he loses himself in his thoughts about the two boys, he finds that the darkness is all too frightening.

How could he be in love with  _two boys_? He couldn’t even imagine the hell he’d go through if anyone out of the losers club found out. For all he knows, they’d have him killed in the middle of town. How could he do this to himself? In such a racist, homophobic town like Derry.

But it’s not the thoughts of what the town would say that keeps his light on through the night, it’s the fact that he doesn’t understand his feelings. How can he be in love with two people? How does that work? He’s never even heard of that before, can you love two people at once? Hypothetically, what if he did start dating one of the boys? The other would still be in the back of his mind, he’d still think of the other and how he wants to be with them too. But that’s unheard of in Derry, it’s a boy and a girl or nothing. Not a boy, a boy, and a boy.

He sleeps with his light on.

…

“Mikey?” Stan whispers. He had his eyes focused on a blue jay that seemed to have been staring back at him. His gaze never leaves that bird, they’ve been maintaining eye contact for four and a half minutes. Mike feels weird knowing the exact time, but he’s been staring at Stan the whole time. Mike almost doesn’t respond because he’s staring.

“Yeah, Stanley?” Mike’s voice comes out smooth, it always does. Even when he’s nervous, his voice doesn’t stutter. He doesn’t stutter like Bill, and his voice isn’t timid like Stan’s will tend to be. He’s not like the two of them, and yet, he wants both of them.

As Stan waits to find the right words to say, Mike takes all of Stan in. Stan has quite the exterior to him. He’s beautiful, neat, all in all, a well-oiled machine when you think about it. But any of his five closest friends can tell you that there’s more to such a prim and proper looking boy. He makes jokes to himself on the side that no one understands, he’s in third place for biggest trash mouth behind Eddie, and Richie. He’s a big bird nerd, loves them so much. Just as he has fun hidden qualities, he has some that haunt him every day. One of them being that he has trust issues. He doesn’t like to share secrets all that much, he keeps them to himself. It’s actually impressing Mike that he’s willing to choke out these words right now.

“I… I don’t like girls…” Stan tears his gaze away from the blue jay to look into Mike’s eyes, the blue jay flies away. The tension was thick around them, anticipation hung in the unshed tears that danced at the rim of Stan’s eyes. It smacks Mike in the face when he realizes that Stan is scared. Stan is so scared, so vulnerable, he’s been taken to the dark side. The dark side, as in actually believing what the homophobic people in Derry say about them. Stan looks lost, stuck. It crushes Mike.

“You mean you’re gay?” Mike asks for clarification. He doesn’t wanna get this wrong, he needs it to be right, for Stan.

Stan nods.

Mike smiles warmly, something that would brighten the whole field if it wasn’t already lit by the sun. He reaches over and grasps Stan’s shaking left hand.

“I am too.” Then Stan is crying. He chokes out a loud, ugly, relieved sob that breaks Mike’s heart. He wraps both his arms around the smaller boy and pulls him into a tender hug, there Stan cries out of what Mike hopes is happiness, and Mike thinks about how he wishes he could tell Stan that he’s gay for him too.

…

That day in the field is never brought up again, Mike is half convinced it was all his imagination. He tries not to think about it, but he can’t help dreaming about it. He’s spent countless nights dreaming about that exact moment. They all start the same, Stan tells Mike that he doesn’t like girls, and from there Mike will either recreate what happened or do something different. Most of the time he holds Stan’s face in his hands and kisses him. But after every dream, he wakes up to his illuminated room and sighs, wishing he really did kiss him.

He goes back to sleep and leaves the light on.

…

Mike has to admit, he’s kind of obsessed with watching Bill paint. When Bill paints, he listens to music. He has a playlist that Mike has grown familiar with over the years, it hasn’t changed since a few months ago when Bill added a new song.

Today, Mike is watching Bill paint a glass of water, and this glass of water has the water shining on it just right to make a rainbow reflect from it. Mike thinks a piece of it is poetic, in a painting sort of way.

Bill’s humming along to the song that’s playing, it’s funny how his voice is all stutters when he’s talking, but it’s graceful and smooth when he’s singing. Mike thinks Bill has a nice voice, it’s not the best out of all the losers, but it’s up there. Bill gets some words mixed up sometimes, but Mike doesn’t mind. In fact, he thinks it’s cute. He’d never tell Bill that he sang the words wrong, he’d keep that to himself.

“Mike… You ever liked someone before?” Bill asks slowly, his eyes never leaving the painting.

Mike feels his face heat up, spreading across his face like wildfire. He hates thinking about liking people, especially when one of the guys he likes is right in front of him.

“I… I suppose I have, maybe once. Why’re you asking me? Didn’t you kinda, sorta date Bev?” Mike asks as he fidgets with a paintbrush Bill had tossed to the side. Bill’s concentrated expression visibly falters for only a second, but it’s long enough for Mike to immediately wish he didn’t say anything about Bev.

“I’m just asking, Mikey. I wanna ask someone out and… I’m nervous to do that. I just want some advice.” Bill ends his sentence with a light shrug.

Mike only stares at him, he’s not exactly sure what to say now. How can he give advice on that? He doesn’t know anything about it, hell, he can’t even accept his feelings for one person.

“Well, who is she?”

Bill’s breath noticeably hitches and his hand twitches just enough to drop his brush to the ground. Suddenly Mike understands it all at once.

“It’s a boy, isn’t it?” Mike asks carefully, knowing that this must be hard for Bill to comprehend.

Bill still doesn’t say anything, he just hesitantly nods his head. Mike leans in slowly to Bill, close enough to see into his eyes, and feels his heartbreak. His eyes are filled with tears that are threatening to spill, and the sorrow behind them makes Mike wanna cry. Slowly, he places his hands on Bill’s cheeks.

“Just… ask them to the quarry. If they say no, or call you disgusting or something terrible, we’ll protect you. Losers stick together, Bill.”

Bill snaps his head to look at Mike, he blinks his tears away and the sorrow that had been in his eyes was gone. Now there was hope.  
“Y-you d-don’t think I’m d-disgusting?” He asks with a slight quiver in his voice. Mike chuckles a bit, closes his eyes and smiles.

“That’s awfully hypocritical, isn’t it?”

Bill looks confused, but then he laughs, then Mike laughs. They dissolve into a content laugher, and for a minute, Mike thinks he’d like to be the guy Bill is talking about.

…

“Did you hear about Staniel and Billiam?” Richie asks as he pops a piece of gum in his mouth. He and Eddie are helping Mike deliver fresh meat around town today, all the losers do it at least once a week, the only people who haven’t yet that week are Stan and Bill.

“What about them?” Mike asks, tilting his head to the side. Come to think of it, Mike hasn’t really spoken to either of them in quite a while. He’s seen plenty of the other losers, he always does, but not them. Specifically them.

“Bill told little ol’ Eds here that he tapped Stan’s ass,” Richie said with a classic smirk.

“Beep Beep stupid! That’s not what I said!” Eddie cried out.

“Whatever, he’s gonna tap that ass now that they’re together.”

“God, you’re such an asshole!”

“You love me.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you’re an asshole-”

Mike didn’t bother to pay attention to the rest. His mind was focused on Bill and Stan.

…

Mike goes home immediately after finishing his deliveries with Richie and Eddie. The sun is going down anyway but there was supposed to be a movie night at Bill’s. He was looking forward to it but now he’s lying in bed, staring at the wall, confused. Usually, when your crush dates someone you get jealous, what do you do when both the people you like start dating? He lets out a huff of air from his nose,  _what do you do when you like two people?_

How can he not be jealous? Both of them have the two things he wants the most, and yet, it doesn’t bother him. What bothers him is that he can’t be a part of it, and that’s a thought he’s buried deep inside of himself. How could you wanna be apart of two people’s relationship? Do other people feel like that? He assumes not considering the only relationships he ever sees are between two people. A girl and a boy and yet here he is, pining after two boys and wants to be in a relationship with them.

This is his luck obviously. Nobody in Derry even liked him before the losers, they’re not gods who can ward off all bad luck. He hates to think about it, but he does think he’s cursed to like or be the things that Derry discriminates against. First the racism, soon the homophobia. Life is a real battle for Mike Hanlon.

He sleeps with his light on.

…

Mike has never been one to avoid tough situations. He usually faced them head on because he didn’t see the point in putting it off. This time was so different than any other time though, the situation is just designed to be stressful, he’s overwhelmed.

It’s been three weeks since he got the news about Stan and Bill, it’s also been three weeks since he’s talked to either of them. Anytime they showed up he was making a lazy excuse to go back to his farm. Whenever someone said they’d be hanging out with them, Mike would suddenly be busy that day and go home. Whenever it was Stan or Bill’s turn to help deliver meat from the farm he’d ask Ben or Eddie to tell them that he wasn’t doing it that day, and then he’d sneak his way around town to do his deliveries.

He tells himself that this is good, and this is how it should be every time he ditches them. Every time he rests his head against his pillow, when he knows the other losers are meeting up, he tells himself he’s okay with it.

When salty tears leak from his tightly shut eyes, he tells himself he’s okay. When his body shudders with quiet cries, he tells himself he’s okay. Even when he holds a framed picture of Bill and Stan on their bikes close to his heart, he tells himself he’s okay. Even as he’s swept to the dark side, Mike Hanlon says he’s okay.

He sleeps with his light on.

…

It’s been four weeks. Four weeks of being okay.

At this point, Mike prefers to just stay home and avoid the losers altogether. He’s only been doing it for three days so he doubts anyone has really noticed yet and it leaves him wondering if they ever will.

“Michael.” A stern voice commands. Mike turns his head to look at his grandpa who has a large bag on one side of him and a couple ropes in his hand. Mike knows what he’s gonna say but he knows he’ll get the reminder anyway.

“Don’t mess with anything while I’m gone, nobody should be here while I’m gone so if you see anybody outside, don’t be afraid to grab the shotgun.” Mike can rehearse this in his head over and over again if he had to. His grandpa had been planning to make a trip a few states over to get a new horse so he can start breeding them with the other horse they have. He’s been trying to find someone who manages to raise a healthy horse and has low prices. It all comes down to Mike having the house to himself for three days for the first time in six years.

“Yes, sir.” He mutters politely. He knows nobody will actually show up in that field, only one or two people drive down the street in a week. Nobody is very interested in seeing what some farmers do anyway.

It was only a few minutes more of talking before Mike was left alone to stare down into his bowl of cereal alone in his house.

…

It’s the second night of being alone and it’s just as lonely as Mike had predicted. He thought about inviting his friends over to fill the empty silence but he knows that he’d have to see Stan and Bill if he did that. He spent the first day watching tv and reading books.

…

There’s a loud knock on Mike’s door on his third night alone, Mike jumps out of his skin and almost drops his book in shock. He whips his head to look at the door to see who freaked him out so hard. There’s only a silhouette of a curly haired boy and for a moment he thinks it might be Richie. When he flicks the switch to the porch light he sees that it’s not Richie at all. It’s Stan.

Stan has tears trickling down his cheeks and dripping off his chin. Mike feels his heart crush the moment he sees how broken Stan looks. The edges of his eyes are tinted red and the bags under his eyes are darker than normal and Mike knows he’s been crying for a while.

There’s a moment when they only stare at each other, but it’s over when lightning strikes the land behind Stan and thunder shakes the house seconds later.

Mike jumps to get at the door and quickly pulls it open, almost immediately he’s being pulled into a hug. Stan lets out a loud sob when Mike returns the hug, it’s such a powerful sob it even shakes Mike to tears.

“Stan? Stan, what’s wrong?” Mike asks frantically, fear bubbles up in his stomach making him feel sick instantly.

“Everything Mikey!” Stan cried out, tightening his grip on Mike’s torso. “Everything is so wrong and I don’t know what to do anymore!”

Mike shushes him gently, he presses a kiss to the curls on top of Stan’s head, making him stutter in his cries. Mike guides both of them to the couch while holding his arm around Stan’s shoulders. Stan curls up onto Mike’s lap and keeps crying, Mike wonders if he can feel the rapid increase of his heartbeat.  

“Stanley, I need you to calm down okay? You’re okay.” He coos as he rubs Stan’s back. But Stan doesn’t seem to be listening, he only shakes his head and cries harder.

“I’m not okay.” He whispers. He pulls his body off Mike and looks dead into his eyes.

“I’m not okay Mike! I finally go out with Bill, things are amazing until I realize you’re avoiding us? You don’t come around Mike! You cancel plans with us and only hang out with Richie and Eddie or Bev and Ben! Never me, Mike!” Stan is moving so frantically, yanking his head from side to side and throwing his hands in the air. It’s so much movement but Mike can see how hurt Stan is. How much Mike hurts him.

“You really threw me for a loop, Mike. You don’t even get it, you don’t get how scared I was about dating Bill because I’ve been in love with you for years Mike. What’s worse? I love Bill too. I’m so in love with both of you, it hurt to choose who to be with, and I didn’t! I went out with Bill because he asked me! I would’ve done the same if you did too!” Stan pauses to take a breath. Mike takes a breath too, that was a lot of information at once and he’s barely keeping up with it.

“But if I went out with you, I’d still have this empty void in my heart. I’d want Bill too, a-and if I had none of you…” His voice is cracking and tears are running down his cheeks again. A few tears slip from Mike’s eyes as well, quite frankly, he can’t figure out why.

“I love you too, Stan,” Mike whispers. Stan whips his head to look at Mike, his eyes are wide like two moons, his crying stopped too. Stopped dead in its tracks.

“I… I was too scared to tell anyone, Stan. I wanted to, I promise I did, but I love Bill too.” Mike takes in a shuddery deep breath, “we’re in the same boat, Stanny.”

Stan doesn’t dare say a word. He just watches Mike, conflicted, probably scared too. There’s so much to unpack in those few words, it’s amazing how Stan’s face can stay so still. Mike thinks he’s watching his face to search for any sign that he’s lying. Mike knows Stan trusts him, probably trusts him the most out of all the losers, but Mike isn’t one to forget his trust issues.

“Mike… What do we do?” He sobs out, then he collapses on top of Mike. Mike is quick to pull him into a comforting hold, even if he thinks he might need the same amount of comforting. Eventually, Stan’s cries reduce to whimpers and then to quiet breathing. It even relaxes Mike to know that Stan has stopped crying.

“Let’s go to bed,” Mike whispers into Stan’s ear. Stan slowly nods his head, Mike gives him a little smile then hoists himself up along with Stan. Carefully he pulls Stan into a bridal style hold and starts carrying him to his bedroom.

When he reaches his bed, he’s quick but gentle to put Stan down and tuck him in. He presses a single kiss to Stan’s forehead then goes to start making a bed for himself on the couch. But he doesn’t even get two steps away because a smaller hand is reaching out and grabbing at his bicep.

“Don’t go, Mikey. Please don’t go.” Stan’s eyes are still closed, Mike kinda wonders how he knew he was walking away in the first place. He stands and considers it, could he do that? Sure they loved each other, but Stan had a boyfriend, right? But they loved the same guy…

“I won’t go, Stan.”

They sleep with the light on.

…

Mike woke up that morning only feeling pieces of content. He had one of the most beautiful boys in his arms, snuggled up to him with his full lips parted ever so slightly. Mike wanted nothing more than to lean down and kiss them, but Stan wasn’t his. God, he wanted Stan to be his, but he didn’t want just Stan. He wonders if he should consider himself lucky that Stan wants him too, him and Bill.

Carefully, he pulls himself up, trying not to wake Stan up. He’s too big to not wake him up though, in a minute Stan is blinking and yawning himself awake. Mike’s heart melts a little, he’s never seen anything look so precious before. Stan then looks up at Mike, his eyes are tired, but now the whites of his eyes have no hint of redness anymore, even his eye bags have lightened up.

“Mikey?” Stan whispers quietly. His voice is so tired too, a little raspy but Mike would consider himself lucky to wake up to it every day.

“Stan?” Mike responds just as quietly.

“I really love you… I’m sorry it took all this for me to tell you.”

“H-hey Stan… a-and Mike!” Bill greets, his voice gets a bit higher as he realizes Mike is behind Stan. Mike feels his face heat up when he realizes that Bill was excited to see him. The moment is short lived though, Bill doesn’t miss the anxious look on his boyfriend’s face.

“Hey, w-what’s wrong?” He asks with confusion in his voice. Mike feels his nerves rise up in his throat when he sees the way Stan flinches at his concern.

“Bill… We need to talk.” Stan whispers, not meeting his gaze. Bill tears his gaze from Stan and looks over at Mike for answers, but Mike only nods.

Slowly, Bill takes a step back to allow Mike and Stan to walk into his house. Stan goes first, he shuffles in as quick as he can with his eyes looking towards the ground and his head hung low. Mike goes next but he watches Bill the whole time, watching for his emotions. Bill goes in last and closes the door behind them.

“My family isn’t home right now, so we can… talk.” Bill informs the two with a hesitant tone.

Stan takes a seat on a big white armchair in the Denbrough living room. By the look of it, he’s trying to sink directly into the couch. Bill is quick to get to him, he kneels at his side and places a hand on Stan’s knee.

“A-are you okay?” He whispers with a sliver of hope in his voice, but Stan shakes his head.

And then, he speaks.

“Bill, I love you okay? Don’t get me wrong I really really love you, but I can’t lie to you. I love Mike too. I’m so fucking in love with both of you it drives me insane, I don’t know what to do because I love you Bill, and I wanna be with you. But fuck, I wanna be with Mike.”

Mike is almost afraid to see Bill’s reaction. Bill wears his heart on his sleeve most of the time so both Mike and Stan know that if he’s not happy, they’ll know immediately. When Mike does look up, he’s shocked. Bill is looking right at him, not with anger or betrayal, but… longing?

“Stan… W-why didn’t you t-tell me?” Bill whispers, his voice sounds confused, but not hurt. Mike looks over at Stan, who also looks very, very confused.

“I didn’t know how to tell you, Billy… Last night I- I went over to Mike’s and told him everything. I wouldn’t have even considered this if he didn’t tell me that he loved you too and-”

“Wait, M-Mike?” Mike looks back over to Bill, and he doesn’t need a mirror to know that his own eyes are filled with fear. In the corner of his eye, he sees Stan look at Mike in horror like he made a mistake.

“That’s- No wait Bill I-”

“Yes,” Mike says, there’s false confidence in his voice and his facial expressions betray him, but he says it. Bill stares a Mike for what feels like forever, then he looks back at Stan, then back to Mike.

Slowly, Bill walks over to Mike without saying a word. He’s watching Mike though, his eyes are softer than before. Despite his slightly off-putting walk towards him, Mike’s never felt so intrigued before. When Bill is at Mike’s feet, he kneels down to eye level and rests his hand on Mike’s cheek.

“Can I k-kiss you?” He whispers, and Mike feels his heart leap into his throat. He lets out a little gasp, then looks over at Stan for permission, as if at this point he needs it. Stan smiles and nods his head. That’s all Mike needs before he’s leaning in and pressing his lips to Bill’s.

Mike is sure he’ll never feel anything as amazing as that moment ever again. The pent-up feelings and frustration finally flooding out of Mike like a river. The feeling of his warm lips slotted against Mike’s just felt so right, it made Mike melt. He wraps his arms around Bill’s neck and pulls him as close as he can. _It’s funny,_  Mike thinks,  _how someone so chaotic could have such soft lips._  But he doesn’t dwell on that, he focuses on how good it feels to kiss the boy he loves. Oh, how Mike loves him.

When they pull apart for air, Mike looks over at Stan. He extends his arm to Stan, beckoning him closer. When Stan is finally in arm’s length, Mike grabs at Stan’s hip and pulls him closer, making Stan trip a little bit right at Mike’s lips. He presses his lips to Stan’s and kisses him too. The kiss is almost the same, but less like fireworks and more like a comforting, loving feeling. Stan laughs into the kiss, just a giggle but enough to make Mike’s heart flutter. When they break away, all three boys shift their gazes to one another. There’s dead silence before Bill breaks out into a full blown laugh, then Stan laughs again, and then Mike.

“I love you guys,” Mike whispers.

…

Mike lays between Bill and Stan that night. They have their arms around his chest and they connect their fingers. Their heads are rested on Mike’s shoulders and they’re dead asleep.

A single tear escapes Mike’s eye. The feeling in Mike’s heart, the blossoming, loving feeling is all he’s ever wanted. He lets out a huff of a laugh and smiles, he’s got everything he’s ever wanted. Sure, he’ll probably get in trouble the next morning when his family comes home and finds him gone, but at that moment he can’t care. He only cares about his two boyfriends who rest on his chest. His two boyfriends, the two he loves, and the two who love him back.

That night he sleeps with the light off. 


End file.
